I was reading this article in Readers' Digest on blogging.It said that it seems everyone who breathes oxygen is suddenly blogging to tell the world that he does!!! I read it and realised that this was my opportunity to prove that I breathe too..and so here I am writing my first post on my first blog.
It's a bad weekend-just like the one before exams usually is. Infact, the regularity of my absolutely boring routine on the weekend before the exams could be funny,if it was not so .....well...ummm...boring! I usually (read that as 'always'!) set my alarm to 8:30 am when I go to sleep on a friday night-with glorious ideas of getting up in the morning and studying with a fresh mind etc etc. Now, friday nights pass real quick (they never teach you that in geography, I wonder why!) and even before you realise you are sleeping, the alarm begins to buzz. I keep it snoozing every 5 mins and finally turn it off.By the time I wake up it is somewhere between 10:30-11.There goes my early morning study! By the time I finish lunch and go to the library (jise hum pyar se RC bulate hain!!) , it's the sleepiest part of the day in the library. So,I go and dump my books , try in vain to study for half an hour without getting so much as a word into my brain.Then I cannot control the urge to sleep and put my head down and drift off, promising to wake up in 10mins.Now, this is something that I have mastered since I came to college (and I'm afraid it's the only thing!)-how to go to sleep in space of a few seconds by just placing your head against some kind of a stable object,oblivious to all kind of noise around you-even when it is a prof screaming into a microphone in the LT!! Anyway,getting back to where I was, as soon as I close my eyes and begin to drift, the RC guy walks up and raps on the table in the most irritating way. Seriously,I feel all that this guy does is watch when I go to sleep coz he's there the next moment rapping ! So much for my sleep.I get up, give him an irrritated look which he smugly ignores, and with that villainous twinke in his eyes , he walks away. After another hour or so of wasted effort I'm back to my room wondering what in the world are we studying so hard for?
I know it's funny that this philosophy always hits me right before an exam-but it's still unanswered.
From what I had read, and heard from people of my parent's generation,college years were supposed to be the best years of your life, where you made your best memories, and your best friends. I've been lucky ,no doubt , in getting my closest pals here but I doubt if you could call these the best years of one's life!It seems so pointless after a while-you slog and slog and get into an engineering college, and then you slog and slog again to get decent grades , and then you slog and slog to get into a B-school, and then you are slogging again at that high paying job you got.Goodness, the very thought depresses me.
I grew up believing that God had sent me into his world for a very special purpose.and as I grew up, I was sure I would realise what that purpose was some day. But here I'm 21 years old, looking ahead at life and wondering where that purpose could be in all this slogging that i see ahead.Sure,I want a job, and all the other usual stuff that people want from life,I guess. But I want to believe that there's something else to my life too, a purpose which will guide the rest of my life,which I will feel happy following and which will give me the satisfaction of being the person God had made with a purpose in His mind.